Tag Archives: Growth

A New Sport

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If 2021 was the year of bouldering, 2022 was the year of cycling, then 2023 is the year of skiing! Happy to report that after 3 months of practice, I can now ski comfortably down blue runs and even make it down OK a couple of black runs in a ski resort!

My journey to learn skiing went back to my time in Minnesota in 2014, when I first took a half day lesson to learn. Growing up in a city in China where it doesn’t snow much in winter and no mountains nearby, I’ve never learned how to ski. When I was in undergraduate in Minnesota, I considered learning skiing, but I was too concerned with any risk of injury that can impact school and job search, did not have a car to travel to a resort, or know of friends who were interested in skiing. I did not take this lesson until my last winter in Minnesota, when I was already considering moving to Houston for a new career opportunity. I thought, ‘I might as well take advantage of the snow here, since who knows when I will ever live in a city with access to ski resort.’ For that day, I remember practicing ‘pizza’ and ‘french fry’ down the bunny hill the whole morning and afternoon. Then my friend asked if I was interested in trying a chair lift. I successfully made it out of the chair lift, but got chickened out as soon as I started downhill and resorted to boot down the hill to an exit where my friend could drive to pick me up.

The second time I learned skiing was at a resort in Michigan, four years after my first ski lesson lesson in Minnesota. I was getting my graduate degree at the time and over winter break, my friends and I spent a couple of days in a resort in Michigan. Similarly, I took a half day lesson and practiced on the bunny hill first. Luckily this time I was able to make it down in one piece on a green run the end of first day. The same winter, I skied with grad school friends at the annual winter party in a resort and even accidentally went down a blue run.

Even though I did not know whether I would ever live in a city with easy access to ski resort since that first lesson in 2014, life presented the opportunity when I moved to Seattle in 2019. Little did I know that I would fall so head over heels for living in Washington. I know I would enjoy the outdoor activities, but when I first moved here, I had no idea that I would love it THAT much. 2019 and 2020 were the years that I became serious with hiking and backpacking. I started trail running in 2021 and loved how efficient I could travel in the backcountry, compared to hiking. It was also the year that I started following local mountaineers on Instagram and learned about backcountry skiing. After seeing their backcountry skiing trips, I see skinning uphill and skiing down the perfect combination for my needs to explore the outdoors while traveling efficiently downhill. As a result, a seed for backcountry skiing was planted. Unfortunately, my ankle injury at the start of 2021-2022 winter put my skiing plan on hold for a year. Instead, I picked up cycling as rehab and have been keeping up with cycling since then.

Fast forward to 2022-2023 winter, I signed up for a weekly Wednesday night lessons for six weeks at Summit at Snoqualmie. Despite a rocky start on lesson 1 (those skills from MN and MI never stuck with me), I was able to ski down a blue run comfortably by lesson 6! The lessons and many practice runs in Summit at Snoqualmie eventually led me to try out backcountry skiing for the first time a couple of weekends ago at Source Lake in Alpental backcountry! Despite a couple of falls on the uphill (had trouble when it was steep and powdery), I was relatively comfortable going up, due to my endurance and stamina from running and cycling. Skiing downhill on backcountry powder was very challenging. I fell faceplanted almost at every turn and had trouble skiing the narrow exit track due to my limited ability to control my skis. Even with these challenges, I loved the experience and think this first trip would be a precious memory I look back fondly upon.

skiing in resort, top of Silver Fir
practicing uphill in Summit East
Source Lake, Alpental Backcountry

The following are a few reflections from this ski season:

  1. Stoke is important – even though skiing is better learned as a kid, I know a lot of people who get into this sports as an adult and succeed. As long as you are excited about it and know why you get into it in the first place, you will have motivation to keep practicing to get better.
  2. Having friends to ski with makes learning much easier! Bonus is friends with similar skill levels. Being in the class for 6 weeks and learning with a group activates the competitive energy in me. I usually practiced outside class before the weekly session so that I could keep up with the class. I was also able to pick up a few pointers from friends who are more skilled! One friend even graciously allowed me to borrow her backcountry setup to try out!
  3. Fortunate that I have the means and support to go skiing – Skiing in both resorts and in the backcountry is expensive! Lift tickets, skiing gears (resort and backcountry), avalanche class and avalanche equipment for backcountry, and gas/car to go to the destination are all things not everyone can afford. In addition, as you look at the faces on the slopes, they are not very diverse (cycling is similar). This is probably due to economic and social network reasons. I hope that I can take more friends to try out skiing in the future if they are just missing mentorship and support network.  
  4. It is worth celebrating there was no injury, which was my biggest concern going into this season. With my climbing injury on the ankle and seeing horror stories of others breaking their ACLs/MCLs in skiing, I was nervous going into this season. My philosophy is that if the conditions are bad (icy trail, tired legs, low excitement, etc), I would just not go to the mountain. With low risk tolerance, I also did not ski too fast.

In the end, here are two blogs that I read frequently that dedicate a post on backcountry skiing. They provide both male and female perspectives. They also provide really good trip reports on backcountry skiing that give me lots of inspiration for future adventures! 

https://www.cherlynelizaphoto.com/alpinewanderlust/the-ultimate-beginners-guide-to-backcountry-skiing-washington/

So You Want To Learn to Backcountry Ski

As my first skiing season in Washington is coming to end, I am super proud to say that I finally made good on my goal to venture into backcountry skiing! I hope with more practice next season I can eventually ski down a volcano next spring in 2024, such as Mt St Helens and Mt Adams!

the Journey of Self – Freedom vs. Control

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I am dedicating year of 2021 to a year of self-journey, a year of looking inward to understand myself better and to grow. This is part 4 of the series.

Late last December I came across a book ‘Nonviolent Communication’, which described how we can connect with others in a more compassionate way, expressing ourselves without casting judgment and receiving others’ feelings empathetically. I was immediately enlightened and started practicing what the book advocates for in daily life. Since I am the kind of person who enjoys sharing what I love and have learned (this blog is a natural extension), I frequently talked about this book at holiday gatherings and FaceTime sessions and even bought copies of the book as holiday gifts. I also emailed the emotional intelligence interest group at work and recommended it as a book club topic. After some ‘aggressive’ promotion of the book, later on, I checked with my friends to see if they read it. I got a bit frustrated when my friends did not take my recommendations seriously or when they did not feel as strongly about the book as I did.

When watching the video of Yung Pueblo, whose two books and weekly newsletters are amazing, I realized everyone is learning at their own pace (video starts at 36:15) and I can only help those who are open to changes and actively seek out help. Because each person holds the key to his/her own heart, we need to be kind to others and let them grow at their own pace. We can provide all the support we think they need, but nothing will change unless they are committed to making the change themselves. We can provide resources but should not get frustrated when they don’t do anything or when they pick a different way to get assistance. If we realize we cannot help any further, we can set boundaries, communicate that, and step away from the issue at hand if needed. However, there is no need to be upset if the results don’t turn out the way we expect.

Upon realizing that, I am able to let go of my desire to control others’ reaction a lot more easily. I also wonder whether my wanting others to react or solve problems the same way I did was just another form of me seeking external validation. Luckily, I have grown a lot sure of myself over the past year that I care less about getting validation. I still enthusiastically share what I love. If they enjoy what I have shared, that’s great. If they do not, at least I feel good about having done my part of trying to be helpful.

the Journey of Self – the Mountains

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I am dedicating year of 2021 to a year of self-journey, a year of looking inward to understand myself better and to grow. This is part 3 of the series.

Before I started hiking in Washington, I knew I would enjoy the nature and outdoors because I loved running outside and was ready to put in the hard work in endurance. I thought hiking would be one of the excursions I do every once in a while (aka, a few times in the summer). Thanks to the good company and mentors on the trail and the stay-at home order of Covid-19, I turned to the outdoors a lot and became hooked, to the extent I would call a slight obsession (another thing I noticed on this self-awareness journey). I would spend hours poring over trip reports, mapping out new hiking routes, and dreaming about my own adventures after being inspired by pictures posted on Facebook and Instagram. I have fallen in love with the craggy mountains and the sparkling blue alpine lakes.

This winter (starting from November 2020) marks my second winter on the trails. I’ve explored some new ones and returned to a few old gems. Stepping on the same trails the second time helps me see the two distinct stages I move through in hiking.

The first stage of my hiking was very ‘peak driven’. Since I usually took on somewhat strenuous hikes and sometimes went with folks more fit than me, there was pressure to move at a faster pace. Thus, forget about ‘it is the journey that matters not the destination’, the only thing I could think about was to keep myself moving to get the peak. I would set a rule to myself that I could only break every 30 minutes for water and huff and puff up the entire time. As a result, some of the memories before reaching the summit were blurry to me. With the Hoh River trail to see blue glacier last summer, I relied on the pictures taken to remember the glories of the glacier rather from my memory bank, as I was exhausted and distracted in dreaming about the Mountain House dinner that I would eat at camp rather than basking in the awe of the glacier.

Luckily, as I built on my fitness level, I slowly moved to the second stage of actually enjoying the adventure outside. This became especially clear as I set foot on the Kachess Beacon trail earlier this month. A lot of the memories from a year ago came back to me – of how I was scared of falling on the trail in the treeline, of how awkward I felt using the trekking poles to keep my balance while ascending in snowshoes, of how uncomfortable I was descending from the ridge line. This time it was totally different. Instead of feeling sketched out and uncertain, I supported my friend’s suggestion of taking the shorter and steeper route up the ridge line and was breaking trails ahead in snowshoes (my snowshoes had superior grip than his, lol). Despite the hard climb, we were laughing and joking the entire way and occasionally stopped for pictures. In the end, I even climbed up the beacon for views of surrounding peaks, which was another thing I was afraid to do last time.  Oh what a long way I have came since the first ascent! As I looked back, what I loved about this second time was that I was able to enjoy solitude (did not see a single soul until 1 mile away from the trailhead), to experience the road less traveled, and to have the privilege to be the first to connect with the mountains and nature on that sunny day. My curiosity and adventure tank were full. I was at my happiest.

Heading to the beacon on untouched snow!

Will there be more stages for me and what would they be? Yes and I am starting to notice the theme emerging. Third stage is to to enjoy the journey more than just focusing on the destination on new adventures (not just trails that I have completed previously). Fourth stage is to share the joy of getting outside with others. This process of looking inward to my own development in hiking will help me tremendously to get to those stages. A stronger sense of how I get to who I am today allows me to be more compassionate towards both myself and others. Whenever I feel defeated that I cannot keep up with others, I will tell myself that practice makes perfect and it always take time to build up the fitness. I will remind myself to stop and take in the view around me more often even though I might be super focused on mustering my physical and mental toughness for the summit. Whenever I take my friends on an adventure that is a bit outside their comfort zone, I will remember to slow down for them and not be too pushy, because everyone is developing at their own pace. I will also not turn down requests to go on easier hikes or hikes that I have already completed, because I will still experience something new and it’s rewarding to go through the journey from the friends’ eyes and enjoy their company. 

My big hiking goals this year are to complete the day through-hike at the Enchantments and backpack in the High Divide/7 Lakes Basin in the Olympic Peninsula. Now that I said ‘practice makes perfect’, be right back as I will be going out for more hilly runs to be prepared. 🙂

P.S. In my last post, I promised for a breakdown of the self-compassion podcast. It is still on my topic list. At least I was learning to practice that more in this post.

the Journey of Self – Compassion

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I am dedicating year of 2021 to a year of self-journey, a year of looking inward to understand myself better and to grow. This is part 2 of the series.

I used to be my own worst critic. I set really high standards ahead of time and beat myself up when I do not meet them. When that happens, I am usually floored with all the negative emotion – regret, guilt, followed by self-skepticism and shame, which set my mind into a negative spiral. 2020 was a year when starting a new role when working from home completely heightened these feelings. I felt stuck in this cocoon, unhappy and not confident. I suspect these feelings were ignited by my motivation to be perfect, to get it done right at the first try. As I have written in my previous post ‘Keep Iterating’ last year, the perfectionism mindset is something I recognize in myself and have been actively working to change to ‘keep iterating’ mode.

Understanding the ‘why’ behind the emotion is the very step toward changing it. However, what should I do when I am hit with the wave of negative thoughts again? By chance, I stumbled upon a solution by trying meditation. A couple of months ago, I was introduced to take on a 21-day meditating challenge, in which I had to meditate every day for 10 minutes. I had heard of meditation a while before, but still had been a skeptic. Since it was the beginning of the new year, I thought to myself, why not try something new. Thus, I stuck to the challenge and started listening to the podcast. One episode of the podcast is on self-compassion. It was through listening to the podcast that the lightbulb in my head went on! In fact, I was ecstatic when I finally found a way to pinpoint what I had gone through. I realized how demanding and harsh I had been with myself and why I was not happy. This episode has so many nuggets that I want to go back to and share, but I was just happy that I unlocked something new.

Carrying the awareness of showing self compassion is important, but I still find it ‘easier learned than done’. For my next post, I will share what I find to be useful. This is also a good incentive for me to revisit to the podcast. Stay tuned!

Note to blog readers – I was a little ill-prepared to write this post tonight, not exactly sure of my structure. Nevertheless, I committed to the writing process. As a recovering self-critic, I know there are so much more I can do to edit this post and to describe more the emotions I had, but I am still happy to share because the feeling of finally understanding clearly one’s own emotion is worth celebrating.